Ode to Tennessee

Earlier this month I got to take an epic road trip with my three closest friends from college. We were caffeinated and on the road by 6:45 am. After a slight navigational slip up, we were well on our way. It was so incredible to be on the open road with nothing between us and the mountains!! We cruised into the breathtaking Smokey Mountains by dinner time.

We stayed in a "primitive cabin" at Shady Oaks Campground, "The Friendly Place".
Upon arrival I had to shout my last name several times to Martha before she could understand what I was saying and find our reservation. Dear Martha. Whilst retrieving our keys, my passengers overheard something to the effect of, "I don't have to go back to jail yet" coming from whom we assumed to be the owner's grandson.

In the movie Sweet Home Alabama when Reese Witherspoon claims that "people need a passport to go down south", she was not lying. The culture was drastically different. We saw many fanny packs on our journey, many full "moons", had difficulty interpreting the native tongue/accents. We learned to keep it simple with our orders at Starbucks, and even then just smile and nod when they handed a drink to us. It's incredible how much "Christianity" is part of the culture down there. You will see many Christian T Shirts right next to underwear that says "I Heart to Fart" on them. The name of Jesus is everywhere, but it was hard not to think the precious name had somehow been derived of its meaning.

On our travels we met very colorful characters. My favorite being Earl. He gave us many moons while "helping" us start a fire by piling empty Budweiser boxes on top of our wood just before we had plans to go out for the night.

My favorite memory with Earl was when he came over (half drunk) to discuss the economic crisis with us when he heard we were city slickers from Chicagaw. He had asked if we'd heard of some prominent factory (that I could not make out the name of through his accent and slurring). "You know, one of those places they make shit to blow up shit". Oh, thank you Earl. That crystallizes it for me. Why didn't you say that in the first place?!

Therefore our tagline for the rest of the trip was, “Tennessee is the shit”.

His wife and sister in law, Wanda and Robin, were our next door neighbors. They knew how to work the scrunchies and leopard print cover ups. They were so generous with us with their time and insisted we borrow their chairs, as we forgot to bring them. They gave us the scoop on the goings on in Pigeon Forge and Gatlinburg over the holiday weekend. They were the caretakers of two ingenious, although misbehaved grandchildren. One of their favorite activities was throwing rocks, which they did often and with much fervor. At cars, at the bath house, cabins, and a trashcan. I pity the man who had to empty that heavy trash can.

Some of the highlights of our trip included going on a beautiful hike to Abram's Falls. It took us about 2 hours to actually get to the hike, but gave us a beautiful view of the Smokey Mountain National Park. The main holdup was driving along the Cade's Cove Loop where everyone and their mom drives under 5 mph. Not too strenuous of a hike, but beautiful the whole way up and back. The waterfall at the top and snack break was most welcome to our possey.

When in Tennessee, does as the Tennessee'ns do, right? The trip was full of a few first, namely smoking cloves and cigars. And we found a beer I actually like (Amsetl Light). Things I was formerly repulsed by, but now delightful while sitting around a campfire in the mountains. We adapted quite nicely to the demographic as everyone over the age of 12 was smoking cigarettes and drinking beer before 10:00 am. (Disclaimer: Rachel Monfette, employee of MBI did not participate in above mentioned activities, for the record).

We did not have a bottle opener, but had a trusty nail in the wall that did the trick. Way to go Hanners!!

One day, while visiting historic Gatlinburg, we decided to take a ski lift up a mountain.Very enjoyable.

Other highlights include, but are not limited to:

Cooking on my camping stove.Here we overestimated how much ground beef we would need. Half pound burgers all around.

Watching the 1984 classic with Sarah Jessica Parker and Hellen Keller, er, I mean, Helen Hunt, "Girls Just Wanna Have Fun"

Being in bear infested territory

Putt Putt, Sparklers, Hitting the Outlets
The camping staples: s'mores, hot dogs, grilled cheese, etc.
Chi Fil A!! (one reason to adore the South)

Our trip home from the mountains was not quite as smooth. We hit traffic somewhere in Indiana. Hannah was good to us and entertained us with her reading skills, Junie B Jones Meets Handsome Warren. A literary treasure, I assure you.

It was an amazing trip. I am so thankful that it worked out for all of us to go!! There was much talk of a "next time". I am hoping that this becomes a long standing tradition.