Untitled. But if it were titled, it would probably be something like, "Gahhhhh!"

This is the account of my eventful trip to OKC.

Saturday - May 15th.

4:30 am.
Jump out of bed. Today is the day! I am practically bursting with excitement because I am finally on my way to visit my Sister in OKC to meet her precious baby girl, Cosette Mae (Cosi Mae).

5:30 am
I make it to the blue line. I just miss the train as it pulls away to head downtown. No worries. It's a good thing I am slightly neurotic about giving myself plenty of time to get places (as I hate to be running late). I have made this trip to Midway a thousand times. I am not concerned in the least. My flight does not depart until 8:05, after all.

It's no problem that the next train won't arrive for another 15 minutes. It's the weekend! I am flying to meet sweet Cosi. I have my iced coffee with soy, a brand new book (love) and trusty iPod. What could stand in my way/rain on my parade?

6:10
I make it to Clark and Lake to switch to the Orange Line to take me the rest of the way to the airport. Yet again I just barely miss the train to Midway. Sigh, it's all good. I will just sit and delve into my book some more.

I will let those of you not familiar with Chicago that the Clark and Lake stop has nearly all lines running through it. Several more trains come, but not the orange line.

6:30
Finally an orange line train pulls up. Please observe the image below. Exhibit A, if you will. I have circled, for your convenience, the most important thing to look for before boarding a train. The sign that lets you know which train it is. I see this : Orange + Midway + Airplane symbol = board the train.

I settle in for the 30-ish minute ride to Midway. Enjoying my book, enjoying my music, enjoying the black gold referred to as coffee.

A bit into the ride, I look up above the doors to see how many stops away I am from Midway and gauge how long it will take me to arrive. There are no train route maps in this car of the El. No worries. The last stop is Midway Airport. I will get there when I get there.

6:50
I should be nearing Midway, but as I look around, I don't recognize this part of the city... We pull up to a stop... I do not see orange. I see PINK! The PINK LINE!
Confusion.
Bewilderment.
I grab my bag (thank goodness I travel light) and dash out before the doors close. Where am I? Pink line? What the what? How did I get here? I was on the pink line that whole time? B-b-but!!! How did this happen?! It said Midway! It was orange. Whaaa?!

NO ONE IS PANICKING (panic, panic, panic).

OK. I will just catch a cab. The CTA worker said I would have not trouble catching one on Ashland. Thank you kind sir!

An hour til my flight leaves. Never mind that I should be breezing through secuirty about now with enough time to grab a diet coke and some mentos before approaching my gate... Don't think about that now. Flag a cab with all your might and don't lose hope!!!

One problem. 7:00 am on a Saturday morning in Pilsen... Not the best time to catch a cab on a corner. However, I did get many a van full of guys ask me if I was lost and offer me a ride. I was in such a state I wanted to take them up on their offer. Poor lost, bewildered gringa.

I called two cab companies. They could dispatch a cab, but they could not tell me how long it would take. Under 20 minutes, they were sure... Swallow. Breathe. Curb your tongue. Fight back those tears.

7:10
AT LAST!!! I see a cab. Across 5 lanes of traffic. I take off sprinting and waving (file away this mental image. you're welcome). So relieved that I might still make it!!!

I toss my bag in and jump in (ever so gracefully...) and say with eloquence: Airport! Late! Flight leaving! Midway! Help! Hurry! Go!

Sigh... while I was so thankful for a taxi - nothing could have prepared me for the ride there. He had to have been high. I kid you not. The things coming out of his mouth were some of the most racist comments I have ever heard. Ever!

I tell him I need to make a phone call to hopefully quiet his comments - true story. I called Southwest to see what they could do if/when I inevitably missed my flight. Despite my phonecall he proceeded to loudly tell me all of the people he thinks we should just "put a bullet through". Or rather, "kill off everyone and start over from scratch". Those are the most tame things he said that will make it into this blog.

Have you any idea how much it took to not give him a piece of my mind about the dignity of persons?!!

Back to Southwest agent. Nay-saying Nellie: "Well, see, here - mmm. Nope. Nope. Nope. Yeah, all flights are completely booked until 2:00. And even then, there's no guarantee we can get you on that flight. I just suggest that you get to the airport so that you don't miss your flight"

"I just suggest that you get to the airport so that you don't miss your flight"

Do ya, now?
Thank you so much!
I will now do as you instructed and begin to try and not miss my flight.
A million thank you's! Bye now.

Back to the racist, high, Italian beef eating cabby.

7:35
The airport is in sight!! He is having trouble making out the signs(stoned, anyone?), so I am trying to gently direct him...
He gives me a hard time about not having cash. Cabbies HATE it when you pay with credit card.
I am losing my patience to be completely honest. I had to endure his rants on all people groups and now I am apologizing for not carrying $30 for cab fare?!
He takes my card.
It won't go through.
His machine is not working.

7:37
He tries again. And again. And again.
It is all that I can do to not jump out of the cab and take off running.
Please, oh please, sir. Can't you just write the numbers down.
No pen? I have a pen! Here's a pen.
He tries to decipher the credit card numbers - BUT - he has my credit card upside down (again - stoned, anyone?)!

7:39
I am not proud of this. I am leaning over his shoulder from the backseat, literally shouting my credit card numbers at him, so he will just write them down and so I can flee the cab! "Write this down. Please, just write this down!"

7:40
I sign and take off running!
Print off my boarding pass from the kiosk.
Dash down the expert traveler security line.

Waiting. Waiting. Waiting. Standing in line. Waiting.

I am sure all around me thought I had some sort of disorder. I basically look like a 4 year old who had to use the bathroom, for all the squirming I was doing. Thank goodness they did not detain me for my "suspicious behavior" (bathroom dance/folding my hands in prayer/eyes welling up every 10 seconds/shaking my head/failing at breathing deeply).

7:55
I make it through security!!!
I take off running to the last gate in Midway!!!
Out of breath, I ask with desparation: "Did I make it?!?!" (Side note: For some reason I had in my head they close the doors 10-15 minutes before take off... I think every thought in my head was worst case scenario thinking since I found out I had taken a joy ride on the pink line)
She is quite amused, shakes her head (trying not to laugh at my scene) and said, yes, you made it. The plane is running late. Take a seat.

PHEW!!!

So much adrenaline so early in the morning does not make for a relaxing flight. Especially a PACKED flight. Especially when you're smooshed into the window because your seat partner is a sleeper/leaner/mouth breather/drooler and can't seem to understand that your shoulder is not their pillow.

I was too antsy to read... Headphones in for some Josh and Chuck and their podcast on the 5 best counterfeiters.

I had a layover in KC where I was able to have a nice drink that did wonders for my disposition...

Just recounting this tale has gotten my blood pumping... Sheesh!

However, the time spent with sweet Cosi was just wonderful!!! She is beyond precious and was worth every penny spent, and every anxiety filled moment the morning I tried to get to her!!!

THE END