Packing...

I really do not care for packing.

I seem to be trying to do everything but the task at hand.

If packing was just an act, that would be no problem. If it was just folding clothes and putting them in a suitcase, how hard would that be?

For me- this time- packing represents something so much more. 

For me it means leaving...

Leaving is not a bad thing, don't get me wrong. I am so excited for Chicago and my new life there. It has been so confirmed to me that it is the Lord who has prepared the way for me and is showing me where to go. I am so thrilled to have direction for the moment and glad to follow where He is leading. 

That's not the hard part. 

See, this time every year for the last four years I have packed to go back to school. No problem. It almost feels the same this August. 

Almost. 

But then I remember that unlike every other time, I won't be returning. Every other time I always knew that all the books and photo albums I left on shelves and in closets would always be there when I got back. This time I am going through and deciding what to keep, what to get rid of. All in one week's time. 

I was prepared to stay at home for a year. 

I was planning on taking a year off before grad school (this plan started looking like a big maybe as time went on)

I was planning on having one year with my family. 

Less than a week ago, everything I planned changed. For this I praise the Lord, and at the same time I am torn. Excited for what is ahead, reluctant to leave what/who I love behind. 

In all of the excitement of getting the job and having everything fall into place, I did not realize that leaving home would feel like loss. 

I guess that is why I don't like packing. It symbolizes what is going on, but beyond that, it requires me to face it head on. 

I am almost done packing. My room is nearly empty. I leave in 2 short days. What a transition this will be. 

I don't much care for packing. 

I will be glad when it is done and looking forward to unpacking in my new home. Now there is a concept... Home. 

Thanks for hanging in there through the processing of these thoughts (if you made it this far).